Odds and Sods

Seething with envy at their North London rivals, Spurs snared their own crafty Croat, signing 22 year-old midfielder Luka Modric from Dinamo Zagreb in a £15.8m deal. Chelsea, Newcastle and Arsenal were rumored to be interested.

Modric, last seen tearing England a new one, is a skillful playmaking midfielder who should finally provide Spurs with adept link-up play to the strikers. He can play with both feet and can be effective with or without the ball. The only concern will be his slight stature during the proverbial rainy nights of the north.

Luka may take some time to fit in with the Tottenham lads, but he should have a blonde bimbo, a BMW X5 and a penchant for mind-boggling mediocrity in due time.

Birmingham 4 - Tottenham 1 Spurs tried on the big boy pants, only to end up wearing them around their ankles. They had a sick party last weekend. This weekend they were simply sick. The rear guard is rubbish. Robinson has evolved from awfully fat to just awful. They are closer to the relegation zone than to tenth place. Pop goes the bombastic balloon.

Arsenal 1 - Aston Villa 1 Arsenal added to a terrible two weeks with this stinker. Walcott was wonderful. Senderos was dreadful. None of the other players decided to show up. Only luck kept Villa from putting this one away with a second goal.  The absence of goal minded players (Van Persie, Eduardo, Rosicky) has left the Arsenal attack impotent, with no one capitalizing upon their superb set-up play.

Bendtner’s substitution seemed quite odd.  Personal issues aside, he and Adebayor cross paths on the pitch because they play the same role in the same position.  This change also neutralized Walcott who had been Arsenal’s most dangerous player in the first sixty minutes.  The crucial goal came from fortune, not inspired strategy.

Fulham 0 - Manchester United 3 United came up fruitful for the first time visiting London this season.  The scoreline does not flatter Fulham, who acquitted themselves admirably.  For a club out-manned, they needed all of the luck, but received none of it, left vacant after a cavalcade of close calls.   Eddie Johnson has not yet earned the right to wear orange boots in the Premier League.

Everton 3 - Portsmouth 1 The Toffees kept the pressure on their cross-town rivals with this victory, keeping their 3 pt lead for a Champions League place.  Yakubu was in the mood and Pompey got the business end of it.  He was a far more prudent investment than Dirk Kuyt.

Juande Ramos is invincible, in frivolous knockout competitions.  His Sevilla sides were UEFA Cup dynamos and Spanish Cup stalwarts.  Now, he has spread the Gospel to North London as his Tottenham squad won their first silverware of the new millennium, beating Chelsea 2-1 in the Carling Cup final.

Spurs went down 1-0 in the 39th minute to a Didier Drogba goal.  The Blues looked poised to coast to an all too predictable result before Big Game Berbatov popped in a penalty in the 70th minute and new boy Jonathan Woodgate won the match with a goal in extra time.

The trophy was Tottenham’s first since the 1998-99 League Cup victory.

They continue their quest for the two shites double on March 6th against PSV in the Quarter Final of the UEFA Cup, two trophies Arsene Wenger has never won.

The Juande Revolution continues at White Hart Lane, as Spurs have agreed to an 8m GBP fee for Middlesbrough and occasional England defender Jonathan Woodgate. Bringing in an oft-injured overpaid English player is certainly a strict departure from the previous administration. Though Kevin Keegan’s animal magnetism may lure him to St. James’ Park instead.

Fulham hope that the Kansas City Wizards can provide their Magic Johnson, with 23 year-old striker Eddie leaving in a 3m GBP move. Johnson will join many of his fellow Americans, who will be plying their trade in the Championship for Fulham next season.

Arsene Wenger won’t be letting aborted wonderkid Theo Walcott leave on loan, for fear that the Arsenal squad will be shorthanded. Stoke were rumored to be in the mix to obtain the starlet’s services.

The infamous Jean-Alain Boumsong has joined French Champions Lyon from Juventus Reserves. Some might say that it is impossible for Lyon to not capture their seventh Ligue Un title in a row. The odds have just increased.

Steve “The Ginger Assassin” Sidwell is set to move to Sunderland in a loan deal at the end of January, with a slight delay to allow him to cover for Chelsea’s African Nations Cup departures.  The loan will last for six months, with the option of a permanent deal afterward.  One has to commend the brilliance of Sidwell’s agent.  He was a coveted commodity available for free last summer.  He gets him a spot at Chelsea where he would obviously fail to crack into the first team.  Six months later he is at a club, Sunderland, who is worse than the one he originally left, Reading.  Job well done!

Stewie Downing may be stocking up on travel-sized toiletries as well. Middlesbrough would have trouble holding onto the winger, should Tottenham come through with an expected 12 m GBP bid.  This move would fit both of Tottenham’s major transfer strategies.  Why fill your most glaring hole when there are so many marginal ones to tinker with?  And, why buy a foreigner when an English chap can do the job for three times the transfer fee and twice the amount in wages?

Speaking of Spurs, Paul Robinson may be back down to his fighting weight under Juande Ramos’ new fitness regime, but he has been told by Daniel Levy to pack his bags.  Robinson angered the club by publically supporting fellow pie-lover Martin Jol and by his egregious ineptness at his profession.  Tottenham may employ him as part of a bid to enlist Downing, but Man City and Bolton may be in with a shout as well.

And, what the hell, why not another Spurs story.  They may also be putting integral summer signing Darren Bent into the shop window.  Tottenham reportedly want 12.5 m GBP for the lad, which is three million quid less than they paid for him last summer.  For those of you concerned with such things, that is one million GBP for every goal scored (3) this season.