Odds and Sods

Arsenal beat Bolton 3-2 at the Reebok, keeping mathematical title hopes alive. The Gunners, with 10 men on the pitch, scored three goals to reverse a 2-0 deficit. Diaby deserved his red card for raised studs. Poor fortune averaged itself through an unmarked corner, a penalty and a deflection.

Cristiano Ronaldo is the best in the world right now. He scored one, set up three and could have had two more as Manchester United beat Aston Villa 4-0 to retain a five point clearance. Rooney should have had four goals, only managed a brace. Had Maloney made use of his attempts, it could have been closer, but Villa got played off the pitch.

Newcastle are charging toward the top half, with a 4-1 defeat of Tottenham at White Hart Lane. Both teams forsook caution with 4-3-3 formations, but it was Newcastle that capitalized on their chances. Obafemi Martins looked light and rejuvenated.

It was another muck of Merseyside Derby, as a fortunate Torres gift gave Liverpool the 1-0 victory over Everton. The Champions League six pointer pushed Liverpool ahead by five points.

No tan from standing

in the English rain, many

bald spots exposed though

Manchester United 3 – Liverpool 0: The scoreline was unfair, United should have won by more. Rooney and Ronaldo combined for five fluffed chances. Captain Stevie disappeared twice for the Reds. First, when he decided to stop running and not defend on the Wes Brown goal. Second, when he failed to get between the referee and Mascherano before the second yellow card. Javier’s post-sendoff Latin shrug produced the lasting picture for the match. He deserved the red, but Bennett would not have sent him if off at Anfield or if he was English. Being the big man is easy with a crowd behind you.

Chelsea 2 - Arsenal 1: The Gunners have dropped eleven points to United in five matches – having not won in the league since Feb. 11. Once five points clear, they reside six points behind, seven with goal difference. Chelsea passed Arsenal into second, which is likely how it will stay. Gallas’ decision-making at the back was shocking. His captaincy requires more than rash rhetoric, alpha-male displays and a stegosaurus hairdo. A decade in the team is pure Arsene, but maybe that’s not such a great thing.

Newcastle 2 - Fulham o: Newcastle finally get a win under Keegan. The same lot who heaved Allardyce for not getting to Europe are now erupting like loonies when they beat the 19th place side at home. Keegan’s last remaining gray hairs will hang on for another week. Fulham have not won away since 2006, I blame their away kits. Whatever marketing flunkie chose baby blue from head to toe should be fired.

Reading 2 - Birmingham 1: Reading came out on top in the other relegation six pointer, pushing themselves five points safe. Memo to Andre Bikey: you must meaningfully manipulate the ball on a goal before celebrating with a flip.

Derby 0 - Manchester United 1 This match epitomizes the season for both clubs.  Derby worked but weren’t quite good enough.  United’s only enemy was their own cuteness.  Ronaldo should have scored at least three, or more according to his own verbal tally.

Birmingham 1 - Newcastle 1 The result risked being critical, but little Mickey was there to muscle it back to mediocrity.  He may have saved Keegan’s last silver hair.  Not a win, but certainly a start.

Sunderland o - Chelsea 1 Leave it to the Dark Lord to plunge the Stadium of Light into darkness.  So it goes for Sunderland.  Keane should save some Just for Men for his beard.

Liverpool 2 - Reading 1 Matejovski’s strike was nice.  Mascherano’s was spectacular, with a few tasteful “Fuck Offs” tacked onto it.  Apparently, Dirk Kuyt played in that match.

Wigan 0 - Arsenal 0

Why play a 39th match abroad, when you can come to the Wigan and play on the surface of the moon.  The pitch aside, it was a dismal Arsenal effort.  Bendtner bumbled around negating Adebayor, who disappeared during the dreary second half.  The sails flutter and the ship is taking on water.  They are unbeaten, but broken.

Tottenham 4 - West Ham 0

Big Match Berbatov comes through in the clutch again, as Tottenham creeps closer in the riotous race for tenth.  Spurs have supplanted Liverpool as the league’s Jeckyll and Hyde outfit.  Another Darren Bent sighting as well.

Liverpool 3 - Newcastle 0

As usual for Liverpool, it was Torres, Gerrard and a tad bit of luck.  They have hit form in time to take firm hold of fourth.  Someone should ring up the Soccer Circus to alert them that Obafemi Martins is good.

Reading 2 - Manchester City 0

Coppell’s squad cobbelled together a huge victory to lift them from the relegation zone.  City are fading, but from injuries rather than a premature Sventasm.  Stephen Hunt must lead the “innocuous collision” table.

Arsenal 2- Birmingham 2 Eduardo’s injury - a horrific broken leg - stole the headlines.   But, it did not decisively affect the outcome.  Luck controlled much of it.  Birmingham capitalized upon one free kick - a questionable call - and one penalty - a blatantly wrong call.  Fabregas had two goal-worthy efforts, one stopped by Taylor and the other by the post.

Adebayor’s performance was as shocking as  his short hair.  He fluffed an open breakaway.  He also failed to square a ball to testy teammate Nicklas Bendtner.  Both would likely have clinched victory for Arsenal.

Walcott’s effort encourages, however.  His talent is elite without question, but his confidence and decision-making ability has been sub-par.  However, he put in a fine effort for a brace, his first two goals in the Premier League.  He adeptly slotted in the first goal, and his second, a few minutes later, was magnificent.

The draw drops Arsenal to three points above Manchester United.  The Gunners will hope their bad weak was a blip, not a sign of weakness.

Newcastle 1 - Manchester United 5  In case anyone was unaware, Rooney and Ronaldo are pretty good.  It was an exhaustingly easy effort from the Red Devils.  Newcastle played in a cloud, with neither coherence nor discipline in tactics.  The back four could not fall apart, because it never came together initially.  Even the one Titus Bramble’s part-time competence would have been preferred.

Newcastle’s question is not how long before Keegan gets canned, but how long before he suffers a nervous breakdown and quits.  They reside only six points clear of relegation, with eleven matches remaining.

Liverpool 3 - Middlesbrough 2 Individual brilliance once again saved Liverpool, as Torres took control with a marvelous hat-trick.  Carragher’s cards cost the team at the back, but exonerates none for the poor performance.  Southgate’s side showed themselves excellently.  With some luck and a consistent striker, that club could be challenging for a European place.