Odds and Sods

It was night of black armbands and barren kits in Manchester, which only served to emphasize the sponsorship everywhere else as Man City shocked Man United 2-1 at Old Trafford.  It is no coincidence that most of Man U’s losses come without Wayne Rooney on the pitch.  Ronaldo can score goals but even he with the fleetest of foot needs space to exploit, which only Rooney appears capable of providing.

Neither of City’s goals was very impressive, coming more from good luck and poor defending.  United supporters obviously reflected the solemn occasion by “saluting” Benjani after he put through the second on his debut.

Carrick came through with a fine goal at the end, which, though meaningless, proved a point.  His goal was no stroke of magic but rather pedestrian, a product of practical opportunism rather than a hair-raising blitz from the back.  Carrick is not as flashy as Hargreaves, but that’s not a weakness for a holding midfielder.  Carrick may not pose as much of a threat going forward, but his conservatism keeps things tight at the back.  Were it not for the 2006 World Cup, would Carrick be starting in his stead?

The United loss opened the way for Arsenal to take a five point lead in the Premier League, with their 2-0 defeat of Blackburn.  The victory for Arsenal proved important, but hardly impressive.  Despite dictating play for much of the game, Arsenal failed to create chances for much of the game, and largely failed to capitalize upon the chances that they did have.

They still have no genuine threat on the wings, which Wenger acknowledged by fielding four central midfielders (Hleb, Fabregas, Gilberto, and Flamini.)  The approach limits their angle of attack on goal and affords teams the opportunity to defend less of the field.  To get any pressure whatsoever on the wings, Wenger’s gents rely on overlapping fullbacks to create any width, leaving the defense vulnerable.  Against Blackburn, who cares?  However, that strategy may be exposed if they try it against A.C. Milan.

Elsewhere, Aston Villa throttled Newcastle 4-1.  Toon supporters, you’re gonna need a bigger boat.  The extended decrepitude of Keegan’s tenure has dried up the market for “exciting football” and “soccer circus” jokes.  Newcastle are just terrible.  With Keegan’s 2 pts since taking over the club, they are now a mere six points from the drop zone.  If Michael Owen scores in an empty championship ground, does Fabio Capello hear it?

If it is possible to have an unflattering hat trick, John Carew accomplished it.

Here is all you need to know about Liverpool 0 - Chelsea 0.  I fell asleep during the highlights.  The only thing productive that happened was that it killed Chelsea’s title hopes, 8 pts behind with two teams to overcome and it increased the probability of Liverpool being knocked out of the Champions League places.

The transfer deal sending striker Benjani Mwaruwari from Portsmouth to Manchester City has been finalized, a mere five days after the closing of the transfer window (lightning quick by FA standards).   The Guardian reports that the deal is worth an initial 3.87m GBP, with a further payment raising the fee to 7.6m GBP to follow if Benjani makes 75 starts for City.

Benjani’s move had been in limbo after  complications with paperwork rushed through at the last minute.  Manchester City reportedly got cold feet after being unable to properly assess his physical condition, after he missed two flights to Manchester and arrived at 11:10 PM, 50 minutes prior to the deadline.  They did, however, give the impression that the deal was finalized, inciting Harry Redknapp to acquire Jermaine Defoe from Tottenham.

The deal should be an interesting one for Manchester City.  Benjani has been on a torrid form of late with 12 goals in the Premier League.  However, six of the goals came in two games.  He also managed only six all of last season, which suggests that he may be hit hard by the law of averages over the second half of the season.

That said, he comes at a cheap price, 3.87m GBP, and he is still better than the putrid platter of strikers they traditionally turn out (See: Darius Vassell).  He doesn’t have the cache of a Michael Owen, an Adriano or a Djibril Cisse, but he may turn out to be decent, which should be good enough.

The danger for City, however, is that they were swindled by Happy Harry attempting to sell off Benjani after his value had skyrocketed.  If Defoe can perform the way he has been speculated to in the past, it could give Pompey the advantage in the battle for European places.

After this weekend a Google search for “Sven” and “Up the Arse” won’t lead you astray as Arsenal defeated Manchester City 3-1 away from home to move to the top of the table.  Adebayor dropped a deuce, scoring in his eighth straight match.  Eduardo also controlled a ball magnificently with his chest to set up an overhead bicycle kick for a goal.  If he ever comes back from injury, Robin Van Persie may struggle to get back into the side.

Arsenal should have scored more, the scoreline hardly flattering their control of the match.  The only blight was Clichy’s mistake that led to the City goal, but it is easy to forgive the Frenchman who has been fabulous all season.

Man City have managed just two points from their last four Premier League matches.  Barry Glendenning winning his bottom half bet still looks unlikely, but a fall from the European places is well within the realm of possibility.

Arsenal took the lead at the top thanks to Manchester United’s 1-1 draw with Tottenham.  It was a gutsy performance by Spurs, fueled by superb signings Jonathan Woodgate and Alan Hutton.  Dimitar Berbatov finally decided to show up against a Top Four club, with an efficient finish.  They played well enough to deserve a win, but were once again foiled by poor set piece marking, leaving Tevez unmarked in front of goal in stoppage time.

Once again, Manchester United struggled on an away trip to London.  Hargreaves was taken off in favor of Michael Carrick.  Hargreaves plays with a lot of enthusiasm, but his penchant for going forward left them caught out on Tottenham’s goal.  One wonders if the more conservative Carrick might be the better choice to pair with Scholes.

The Gunners also picked up two points on third place Chelsea who drew 1-1 with Portsmouth.  Last minute signing Jermaine Defoe capped his Pompey debut with a goal, with an assist from Belletti’s poor positioning.  However, he missed two chances that could have given them the win.

The impetus behind Chelsea’s Day-Glo away kits was finally explained, with the ref missing two blatant handballs due to the glare.  With Fat Frank and Capt. John in dry dock and the African Nations Cup losses, their squad is thinner than Lindsey Lohan after a coke binge.  You know that it is dire when you rely upon Pizarro as your late impact sub.  Will someone please slip Avram a couple caffeine pills?

Moving on to squads out of the title race, Liverpool strode their way back into the European places with their 3-0 defeat of Sunderland.  Crouchie wasn’t having his nachos, as Rafa finally gave him a run out.  Not surprisingly, he scored a goal, nearly had another with a bicycle kick and set up Torres in space with a fabulous flick with the back of his head.  Whether it is a handball, a judo-tackle or a swift kick in the shins, the rules do not apply to Jamie Carragher.  The Pool are now in 5th place, one point behind Everton with a game in hand.

Kevin Keegan’s soccer circus has brought exciting football to St. James, though unfortunately for Newcastle it has been by the other team.  He finally got his first result, however, as Newcastle drew 1-1 with Middlesbrough.  Little Mickey got his first league goal in 4 months, though it was from a set piece rather than exciting football.  Newcastle were lucky that the Boro couldn’t capitalize more on the counterattack, and they were saved a scare when the one adept strike of Aliadiere’s career was ruled offside.   Gareth Southgate stole his grandfather’s cardigan before the match.

Finally, Fulham beat Aston Villa 2-1 at Craven Cottage to get their first win in the League since Nov. 3.  The recently returning Jimmy Bullard was man of the match, creating one goal and scoring another.  Hodgson will be happy if he doesn’t attempt anymore somersaults, however.  They also should get a boost from getting Brian McBride back in the side.  They’ve been extraordinarily unfortunate this season, and sit at 19th in the table, though only 3 pts from safety.

Jermaine Defoe has finally realized that he might have to actually football to attract Fabio Capello’s attention, because growing an absurd line of hair and wearing bras on his head just weren’t cutting it. He has made a last minute move to Portsmouth for 9m GBP. He hopes that playing every week will increase the probability of a return to the England setup.

However, Defoe may once again have a battle for playing time on hands, as Benjani’s 8m GBP move to Manchester City did not go through. The clubs could not get the paperwork through in time to meet the deadline. Sven’s secretaries are speedy and proficient, but can they type?

Middlesbrough have also been after a sexy striker, signing Brazilian international Alfonso Alves from Dutch club Heerenveen for a record transfer fee of 12m GBP. Alves scored 34 goals in 31 appearances in the Eredivisie last season. If he can be 1/17 that proficient in the Premier League, he will still be better than Aliadiere in the Premier League.

And finally, American and Chivas USA goalkeeper Brad Guzan had his 2m GBP move to Aston Villa cancelled, after the Home Office failed to grant the poor guy a work permit.

Steve “The Ginger Assassin” Sidwell is set to move to Sunderland in a loan deal at the end of January, with a slight delay to allow him to cover for Chelsea’s African Nations Cup departures.  The loan will last for six months, with the option of a permanent deal afterward.  One has to commend the brilliance of Sidwell’s agent.  He was a coveted commodity available for free last summer.  He gets him a spot at Chelsea where he would obviously fail to crack into the first team.  Six months later he is at a club, Sunderland, who is worse than the one he originally left, Reading.  Job well done!

Stewie Downing may be stocking up on travel-sized toiletries as well. Middlesbrough would have trouble holding onto the winger, should Tottenham come through with an expected 12 m GBP bid.  This move would fit both of Tottenham’s major transfer strategies.  Why fill your most glaring hole when there are so many marginal ones to tinker with?  And, why buy a foreigner when an English chap can do the job for three times the transfer fee and twice the amount in wages?

Speaking of Spurs, Paul Robinson may be back down to his fighting weight under Juande Ramos’ new fitness regime, but he has been told by Daniel Levy to pack his bags.  Robinson angered the club by publically supporting fellow pie-lover Martin Jol and by his egregious ineptness at his profession.  Tottenham may employ him as part of a bid to enlist Downing, but Man City and Bolton may be in with a shout as well.

And, what the hell, why not another Spurs story.  They may also be putting integral summer signing Darren Bent into the shop window.  Tottenham reportedly want 12.5 m GBP for the lad, which is three million quid less than they paid for him last summer.  For those of you concerned with such things, that is one million GBP for every goal scored (3) this season.