Bill James created a controversy through an off-hand comment about the Minnesota Twins in his The Bill James Gold Mine 2008.
James said the following about the Twins.
Two of the greatest home run under-producers of all time were teammates: Kirby Puckett and Gary Gaetti in 1984. Puckett hit no home runs (-16), Gaetti hit only 5 (-19). Suggesting the possibility that the Twins’ two World Championships may have been aided by their team being among the first to discover…well, I’d better not go there. Nor will I point out that Gaetti was bald and had acne and Puckett died young.
Bugs and Cranks assumed this passage to be deadpan. I don’t agree.
The logical inconsistencies are egregious and un-Jamesian. The year in question, 1984, comes as a blip in Gaetti’s career. It was also Puckett’s rookie year, when he was adjusting to Major League pitching.
If James had meant to out the Twins’ championship teams, he probably would have expounded upon the argument and featured it more prominently.
There is also the dramatic… pause, which seems to indicate that James was not entirely serious.
I agree with Rob Neyer. It seems to be more of a subtle joke, poking fun at conclusionist steroid czars employing statistics as weapons. Such jokes from those normally serious are sometimes lost in translation.
Why is Stephen A. Smith on CNN? Are the honestly no black political analysts that CNN could have gotten? Would you ever see some random white guy who was completely uninvolved with politics brought on to commentate about the election? It seems rather demeaning that any random black person is deemed acceptable.
The Big Lead is reporting that ESPN is set to unveil a video blog featuring Amanda Beard, where the Playboy Playmate and former Olympic swimmer will answer sex questions from her Blackberry in a bikini.
All seven of our normal readers might expect me to rant and rave about how this is soft-porn peddling to attract the prurient page hit. But, sex advice is important. With the bible-toting abstinence-only hordes taking over our public schools, ESPN is possibly performing a necessary service. My only critique is that the subject matter should be handled in true ESPN style, with multiple panels and commentators.
Dear ESPN, I am a member of the unwashed mass of bloggers bellowing at you from my parents basement. How do I get a woman to like me?
Sean Salisbury: I don’t know why this is so difficult for you. All you gotta do is take a picture of your man-meat with a cell phone and whip it out on the first date. Problem solved.
Jay Crawford: No, No Sean. You’ve got it all wrong. You need to make a woman feel special. Tell her how beautiful she is by pointing out that is the reason she was hired. Then make disparaging comments about all the other girls so she knows that she’s the one for you.
Woody Paige: Oh, come on Jay. That’s ridiculous. You gotta be physical with her. Fondle her. Give ‘er a good tickle once in a while. If she resists you lay down the law on that stupid c—. And make sure to bring plenty of babes by the set to make her jealous.
Harold Reynolds: Fellas, that’s not the way to do it. You have to be real smooth with the ladies. Start off with a good old-fashioned hug. A good lung hug. Just keep holding on. That’s it…
Steve Phillips: Now Harold, first things first. You have to take care of the legal issues at stake here. You have to make sure it is consensual. Do whatever it takes to get that on the record. Videotape. Signed documents. Whatever it takes.
Mike Tirico: Now seriously, guys. I am the voice of reason at this network. Here is how you get with a woman. You need to be direct, tell her how beautiful she is. More importantly, you need to be persistent. Let her know you are thinking about her. Telephone messages. E-mails. Follow her around. Try to get her to pull over on the highway. Lunge at her. Don’t let her play hard to get.
Tears are melting into cheese shaped foam. John Madden is grooving to Eric Carmen - while blubbering incoherently. Peter King carefully adorns his column with another scene from the Favre family dinner table. The announcement has come.
Brett Favre has retired.
Favre will be remembered as one of the greats to ever play the game. He restored the Packer glory, leading them to two Super Bowls - winning one of them. He is the only player to have won three MVP awards. He leads the NFL in career touchdown passes (442) and passing yards (61,655). He was also football’s Iron Man starting - from assuming the position in 1992 to his retirement in 2008 - 253 straight games (275 including the playoffs).
His Canton claim is a mere formality.
However, Favre’s importance should not be overstated. He was magnificent, but hardly transcendent.
Favre did win one Super Bowl, but during his career that feat has also been accomplished by successful stalwarts like Kurt Warner, Trent Dilfer, Brad Johnson.
He was eclipsed even in his pomp by perhaps the greatest quarterback of all time, John Elway. His accomplishments this decade also dwarf compared to Peyton Manning and Tom Brady. His body of work is also followed closely in the rear view mirror by contemporaries like Steve Young and Troy Aikman. Favre had a prolific career, but he was hardly the best.
It is tempting to anoint Favre. He embodies the American ethos, coming straight out of a Western with guns blazing. He oozes masculinity with his scruffy beard and Wrangler jeans. Webster would accompany the definition of “quarterback” with his picture. But, Favre was neither the best of all-time nor even the best of his era.
ESPN may be in mourning, but do not fret sports fans. Life as we know it will continue.
