Odds and Sods

The Odds and Sods for 23 October 2007

Greg Ryan has been sacked as U.S. Women’s Soccer coach.  Ryan compiled a 45-1-9 record in charge of the team since 2005.  His career came crashing down in a To Catch a Predator-esque decline, when he inexplicably switched goalkeepers mid-tournament, opting for the more experienced Brianna Scurry over the in-form Hope Solo.  A 4-0 defeat later, much of it due to poor keeping, and Ryan was on his way out.  He broke one of the cardinal rules in football, don’t screw with a hot goalkeeper (minds out of the gutter gents).

Tony La Russa has signed a new two-year deal to remain manager of the St. Louis Cardinals.  La Russa is obviously a perfect fit for St. Louis.  Where else could you be complicit with steroid use, get arrested for drunk driving, have two players die in substance abuse related issues, be a complete jerk with nearly everyone encountered and start senseless pissing matches in the middle of games yet still get worshipped?

Apparently the Yankees are out of the playoffs?  Though, they still dominate the headlines.  Probably because Bud Selig will castrate anyone who brings up crazy Jesus cults, humidors, or botch home plate calls with a pair of kitchen shears.  In a shock move, the bombers interviewed Joe Girardi.  They also are prepping an offer for “the third baseman.”

The Chicago Sun-Times want Jay Mariotti in your life 24/7, a thought that could keep couples from reproducing.  The Windy City windbag wrote a column about Beckham a few days ago.  Apparently, Golden Balls is Amy Winehouse without the “Rehab” song.  So, basically, he is an immensely talented British import?  Oh and Americans don’t like soccer because Americans don’t like soccer, thanks for that nugget of wisdom.

Gabriele Marcotti writes an interesting column about offensive language and soccer.  It says quite a lot about the ethnocentrism of the British football media that one has to hunt for a Marcotti article, but those by all of the English hacks are prominently in lime-green display.

David Beckham made his epic trek last week.  He played the full 90 minutes in England’s friendly match against Germany on Wednesday and flew back from London to Los Angeles to play a full match for the LA Galaxy.  Unsurprisingly, considering he was not fully fit to begin with, he was forced to miss the next match on Sunday due to exhaustion.   Why did this happen?

Of course it would have nothing to do with Alexi Lalas.   The Ginger Baker wannabe apparently blames England and Beckham himself.  “There comes a point when your body can’t do it anymore” stated Lalas, because there apparently is a point of physical fitness where Beckham wouldn’t have been tired playing a match on back to back days, let alone after a 12 hour flight.  He followed this up with “we have spent a tremendous amount of money to retain his services, we want to make sure we get our money’s worth.”  He also criticized Beckham being recalled for friendlies, because the Galaxy would never extort money out of him or jeopardize his health by flying him halfway across the world to play in a friendly…oh wait.

It would not be Galaxy manager Frank Yallop’s fault, either.  The manager stated, “I wasn’t going to play him at all, but he said he felt OK.”  Who would ever think that the manager would the one responsible for picking the squad?  Where would anyone get a silly notion like that?

As shocking as it sounds, Steve McClaren is the one with the least amount of blame.  Should he have blooded David Bentley (because he knows what he will get out of Beckham) instead of punishing him for a meaningless match?  Perhaps.  Should he have brought Shawn Wright-Phillips in for him after the first half?  Probably.  But, the fact is, he has the right to call up Beckham and play him if he wants to do so.  Country has clear precedent over club, no matter how much money is involved.  If he wants to play him 90 minutes in a meaningless friendly, its his prerogative.

It is not England that is shamelessly abusing Beckham, it is the Galaxy.  The Chivas match, though important, was in Los Angeles, so it was not denying a market the right to see the spectacle.  Yallop could easily have kept him on the bench, like he did Donovan, and used him if needed in the 2nd half.  Better yet, they could have sent him home with some Ambien and let him rest up for Sunday.

The only person who comes out well in this situation, is Beckham himself.  He recognizes the importance of playing for England and at the same time assumes the burden of being the MLS’ wedge to drive itself into the mainstream American marketplace.  Feeling duty-bound, he attempted to please both parties, and not disappoint.  Though stupid to assume such a herculean task, there is some nobility in it.  One would hope that those managing his fate would have the sense to stop him.  Unfortunately, all three rely on his presence to save their jobs, so expect the thrusting around of him like a peace of meat to continue.

Not that we would ever accuse American sportswriters of spouting off about soccer without doing even a modicum of research, but it appears that some fallacies about Beckham’s relationship with the England national team may have leaked into the media. Here is a correction to them.

The first, as debated on PTI and other programs, is that Beckham isn’t playing because he is saving himself to play for England. This is a ridiculous assumption.

Playing in what is perceived to be a vastly inferior league on another continent, Beckham is hardly guaranteed a call-up to the National team. The only way for him to earn a spot in the squad is to prove his fitness, which he can only do by playing and playing well. Every match his ankle injury keeps him out of hurts his chances to play for England.

It’s not like say Basketball where players get breaks every minute or so, and Shaq can take off 30 games in the middle of the season to rest his legs. Soccer is such a cardiovascular drain that if you aren’t fully fit, you can’t make it through a full match. Beckham needs to play his way into shape in order to be fit for England, so he is in no way “saving himself” for the national squad.

Another debate, which occurred on Monday’s PTI, was whether or not the national team was more important to Beckham. It may be more important, but it doesn’t really matter. As even the mighty Lalas was forced to acknowledge, the club and, to some extent, the player do not have control over national team call-ups (unless it is Real Madrid petitioning against a small African nation).

He could announce his retirement from international football, and McClaren could respect his wishes by not calling him up. But, if he is called up, he has no choice whether or not to go. Even if he feigned injury, he would be ineligible to play in the Galaxy matches he would have missed.

As long as Beckham keeps himself available for the national squad, he is eligible to be called up during the season. Premier League stars like Essien, Drogba, and Kolo Toure leave their clubs in mid-season to play in the African Nations Cup. American players leave MLS mid-summer to play in Copa America and the Gold Cup. Beckham is no different, and he is not committing a crime against ticket-holders by missing matches for international duty.

1. The Article that criticizes ESPN for airing the “Who’s Now” segments on Sportscenter

The blogosphere started this, Peter King continued it, and now every single sports writer feels compelled to put in their own two cents about just how completely awful it is.  They are right it’s terrible.  Mike Wilbon says that people don’t like it because it isn’t serious enough, which isn’t true.  People have universally despised these segments.  No one outside of Bristol has come out to defend it.  That said, why write another article about it?  What can you add to the issue?  We all hate it too.  You are preaching to the choir.  If you don’t like it, don’t watch it.  Enough.

2. The Aritcle that attacks “The Sports Guy” Bill Simmons

Bill Simmons has his faults.  He began as the outsider writing the fan’s perspective, but has now become the ultimate insider as ESPN’s most popular print personality.  He has an unhealthy obsession with Las Vegas, the Real World, and the NBA.  His once ground breaking work has devolved into “another Simmons column” (which has happened to virtually every great writer except Shakespeare).  These are all fair criticisms, but they have been done to death.  If you don’t like Simmons’ columns, don’t read them.  But don’t pester the rest of us with columns about how much you don’t like him.

3. The Article that criticizes MLS and Beckham, by someone who hates soccer and has never watched MLS

No one is forcing soccer down your throat.  If you don’t to watch it and don’t care about Beckham, that is fine.  Just leave it alone.  If you are going to criticize MLS or Beckham, take the time to learn about soccer.  Don’t just pontificate about something you know nothing about.  There are valid criticisms of Beckham as a player, but these should perhaps be gleamed by watching him rather than repeating ignorant statements heard on ESPN and reading his wikipedia column.  There are legitimate criticisms of MLS, but if you have never watched a match and can’t name one player besides Beckham are you the one to be writing about it?  We get it, Joe American, you don’t like soccer.  Any time you write that column you will get numerous sycophants to respond saying “Yeah, soccer sucks!”  What is the point?  If you have something constructive to say, say it.  If it is just another ill-researched xenophobic apoplectic rant about how soccer is bad, it’s been done to death.  Leave it alone.

4. Sportswriters complaining about everything under the sun.

There are few more whiny and disgruntled individuals than local sports section hacks.  They ridicule “the pretty boys” earning TV money on ESPN and blame Bill Simmons for ruining their life.  They gripe about having the press box moved from directly behind home-plate or courside because they are such sensitive geniuses that they need the best seats in the house to be able to cover a game effectively (Lord knows what would happen if they got their free food taken away).  They lament how their noble and “essential” profession has been squashed by the advent of the internet.

Just because you have a column, does not mean you need to secrete your insecurities upon the unsuspecting public.  You write for a local paper, you aren’t David Halberstam or Bob Woodward winning pulitzers and changing the world with your work.  Were it not for a union, you might not have your job to begin with.  The fact that your career hasn’t advanced probably has something to do with you being a fat slob and an uninspired writer, rather than those “uneducated” bloggers who probably went to a better college and watch more games than you.  Stop bitching, buy a clean shirt, and write something decent.

5. The Bipolar Red Sox Article

Earth to Red Sox Nation!  The Red Sox won a World Series three years ago!  CHB’s invented curse was lifted!  They have the best record in baseball, the largest division lead, and the best pitching staff.  The Yankees are not going to win 11/13 the rest of the season.  If the Red Sox just keep winning and playing their game, they will be fine.  They still have 60 games left to play.  Stop regurgitating the same two articles about how they are alternatively the best thing since tivo or doomed after every series.  Stop being the guy who burns effagies of Lugo the entire season and then buy’s his jersey when he goes on a hot-streak.  Chill out.  Have a Sam Adams or a Dunkin Donut and relax.

For those who do live under a rock, David Beckham made his debut tonight for the LA Galaxy, hobbling onto the pitch in the 78th minute of a 1-0 defeat to Chelsea in the World Series of Football friendly. The Odds and Sods staff had planned a live blog, but were sidetracked by few glasses of bubbly during the Super Bowl-esque hype. Here are a few errant thoughts from the match, however.

The first is an obvious topic, and one that should be covered briefly before getting on with more important issues. Why is Dave O’Brien the lead announcer for MLS coverage. They could have had JP Dellacamera, who has 30 years of covering soccer under his built and has covered MLS since its inception, or even the oft-maligned Rob Stone (who has covered MLS since 1998). But for some reason the big matches require the big guns, which ESPN, for some reason has decided is O’Brien (started in 2006). He gives off a Todd Jones-like vibe when he waddles into that booth, alerting viewers that they are in for a wild ride, and one that may not enjoy. He has improved a big since the World Cup, but that is not saying much. The only value he provides is the unintentional comedy created whenever they show a shot in the booth and he turns to the side to listen to an analyst (giving a lovely profile shot of his deceptively long slick-backed hair and his chipmunk cheeks).

He still can’t break the baseball style of bringing up useless information to discuss. For example, Tommy Smyth makes the comment that Xavier is having a nice game (which he was). Then Dave butts his bulbous beak in for no apparent reason to discuss his suspension for drugs and inappropriate conduct. This is ok, but at least be consistent. Why when John Terry scores a goal does he not bring up 17 year old sluts, airport hijinx, and Ledley King?

Captain John also displayed his quintessential charm by refusing to swap shirts at the end of the match, even with opposing captain Landon Donovan. One wonders whether Terry felt himself too big for the stage, or if he was trying to imitate Beckham who also neglected to part with his shirt.

No appearance tonight from Robben hmmm….

Another great moment was the awkwardness between Landon Donovan and Beckham. They made a big deal about Landon saying that he wouldn’t necessarily defer to Becks on set pieces, because obviously Landon Donovan is on par with a guy who won 7 league titles and a Champions League with arguably the two biggest clubs in the World. LD than proceeds to try too hard the entire match, extending himself unnecessarily to try to make himself the center of attention. This was summed up by the awkward and incredibly forced smile LD shot Beckham when he ran over to take the corner at the end. It looks like someone doesn’t entirely appreciate a bigger fish intruding on his small pond. Stay tuned for more on this storyline…

Wynalda also let his true feelings about Donovan unintentionally slip out. In the controversial Fulham USA interview where he trashes Jim Rome, Wyanalda ripped Landon Donovan for not challenging himself on the European stage (sparking a bitter response from the balding one himself). He had largely laid off Donovan for much of this season, probably at the behest of those higher up, praising him for his “commitment” to MLS. However, Wynalda let Donovan have it for missing the gimme header that would have tied the match. It seems that his true feelings may have slipped out. If the World-Wide Leader is true to form, he may “disappear” for another week.

This match also should have showed that the LA Galaxy are not that bad. The favorite refrain is “3 wins in 12 matches” which sounds terrible. But 3 wins, 4 draws, 5 losses or 13 pts from 12 matches, ameliorate that figure somewhat. They are second from bottom in the Western Conference, however, they also have only played 2/3 as many matches as the leaders with 6 in hand. The playoffs are not out of the question. They aren’t fit to lace Chelsea’s boots, but they are not an entirely hopeless side.

There was also far two matches against Tigres. Yes, the attendance was only 2,000 (some Italian Cup matches were similar), but how much would attendance drop for a Premiership club if they scheduled a friendly on a Tuesday at 5:30 in the afternoon when most have a lengthy commute by automobile? Probably quite significantly. In addition, the buzz was about Beckham who wasn’t going to play in the match. That was merely a friendly, it wasn’t a dramatic insight into the caliber of club he has joined.

Becks’ hobbled performance wasn’t spectacular, but he did display that he can handle the creative role in the center of midfield that LA Galaxy will ask him to play. Hopefully, his ankle heals and his next performance can provide a better analysis of what kind of player he can be in MLS.