Odds and Sods

The beard has traditionally evoked the essence of masculinity.  The bearded man was martial and virile.  He flouted society’s norms.  He was capable of all manner of mayhem.  One did not laugh when he preserved a bit of ice cream for later.

Growing a beard was a proud, noble endeavor, until David Beckham.

Beckham’s beard is a barbatian abomination.  It is in the midst of mid-life crisis.  Is it a beard?  Or, is it two epic sideburns slapped together with a stache and a soul patch?  A hastily rectified chin-strap, perhaps?

Does Sir Becks suffer from non-connector syndrome?  Or is the beard meticulously groomed that way?

And why the combination with the shaved head?  A beard should be effortless effrontery.  If you go through the effort to shave your head, what message does the beard intend?  Was skinhead on the top effete English dandy on the bottom the intended look?  And why ruin your surgically chiseled chin?

David Beckham’s beard is just plain irresponsible.  As an icon of men’s fashion he should know better.  This will spawn a plague of California yuppies rocking this look while sucking down caramel macchiatos in their BMW M3’s and picking up their $60 sun-dried cheese-less pizza on the way to the oxygen bar.

Could you imagine Clooney ever showing up with a look like this?

England manager Fabio Capello has recalled fashion icon former Manchester United and Real Madrid legend David Beckham to the England squad for their Mar. 26 friendly against France, allowing the former England captain a chance to earn his 100th international cap.

Capello’s decision was popular and probably proper as well.  England don’t play a competitive fixture until the fall.  Beckham was a loyal servant for his country, and bailed out Don Fabio’s behind at Real Madrid last season.  It would also turn the match into a testimonial for him rather than a reminder of failure to qualify for Euro 2008.

It might also make sense strategically.  Based on talent and conditioning, he remains the best right-sided midfielder in England’s arsenal.  In tighter international competition, his ability to bend free kicks and to hit a moving stop sign at 40 yards – two non-declining attributes – can win matches.

Ninety minutes may be a stretch, but thirty is certainly doable.

He also could instill the privileged squad with some pride and purpose, as he still has the gravitas to bottle the “Baby Bentley” contingent.

Capello recalling Beckham was smart, sensible and, consequently, not Second-Choice Steve.

Jose is back with sidekick Sven and a special guest caller from “LA.”

We must fear the unthinkable

Except, you have to think about it to fear it. If you are worrying about it, by definition you are thinking about it.

Players have come in and done a job

OK…

We’ve picked players, David included, who want to be part of the squad. It’s up to performances whether they play or not.

Starting Midfield vs. Austria - J. Cole, Gerrard, Lampard, Beckham

I have never been a good watcher of matches.

That explains a lot. It’s not like 100% of your job is watching football matches and handling high pressure situations or anything.

The key is for everybody to get behind this team from the press guys to the people in the street and the people at Wembley. We need to put all other agendas away till after the game and make sure the buildup is positive.

McClaren’s Keys to Victory

1. Don’t boo Steve McClaren

2. Don’t write anything bad about Steve McClaren

It’s not in England’s nature to play for a draw.

England’s projected formation 4-5-1.