Odds and Sods

The PFA Player of the Year nominees are a formality.  Ronaldo will in it.  No contest.

But one has to ask.  Where is Wayne Rooney?

Rooney has 11 goals and 11 assists in just 23 league appearances.  Despite Ronaldo’s grandiose stats, one can still make the argument that Rooney was equally as valuable.  United were far worse without Rooney than without Ronaldo this season.

He should clearly have been there ahead of Gerrard who scored 30% of his goals and was pants much of the season, as well as David James.

The slight from the young player nominees is even more ridiculous.  Rooney isn’t a better player than Ashley Young? (5 goals in 32 starts) or Gabby Agbonlahor? (8 goals in 32 starts).  That’s absurd.

What does the poor kid have to do to get a nomination?  Juggle the ball blind-folded while solving a Rubik’s cube and singing Opera?

Arsenal beat Bolton 3-2 at the Reebok, keeping mathematical title hopes alive. The Gunners, with 10 men on the pitch, scored three goals to reverse a 2-0 deficit. Diaby deserved his red card for raised studs. Poor fortune averaged itself through an unmarked corner, a penalty and a deflection.

Cristiano Ronaldo is the best in the world right now. He scored one, set up three and could have had two more as Manchester United beat Aston Villa 4-0 to retain a five point clearance. Rooney should have had four goals, only managed a brace. Had Maloney made use of his attempts, it could have been closer, but Villa got played off the pitch.

Newcastle are charging toward the top half, with a 4-1 defeat of Tottenham at White Hart Lane. Both teams forsook caution with 4-3-3 formations, but it was Newcastle that capitalized on their chances. Obafemi Martins looked light and rejuvenated.

It was another muck of Merseyside Derby, as a fortunate Torres gift gave Liverpool the 1-0 victory over Everton. The Champions League six pointer pushed Liverpool ahead by five points.

No tan from standing

in the English rain, many

bald spots exposed though

Manchester United 2 – Bolton 0 Cristiano Ronaldo may be masking United’s problems, but he’s doing a damn good job of it. His record-breaking brace bumped the Red Devils into sole possession of first – one they are not likely relinquish. He now has something else in common with George Best, besides his number, his good looks and his whoring.

Chelsea 4 – Tottenham 4 It was an advertisement for Premier League football, but not necessarily a positive one. A few spectacular goals, but simple man-marking would have muffled many of them. That said, it was the most exciting match of this season. After blowing 3-1 and 4-3 leads in the second half – scuppering their title chances – Chelsea manager/death warden Avram Grant’s seat is now hotter than Kathleen Turner’s husky voice for men in their forties.

Derby 0 - Manchester United 1 This match epitomizes the season for both clubs.  Derby worked but weren’t quite good enough.  United’s only enemy was their own cuteness.  Ronaldo should have scored at least three, or more according to his own verbal tally.

Birmingham 1 - Newcastle 1 The result risked being critical, but little Mickey was there to muscle it back to mediocrity.  He may have saved Keegan’s last silver hair.  Not a win, but certainly a start.

Sunderland o - Chelsea 1 Leave it to the Dark Lord to plunge the Stadium of Light into darkness.  So it goes for Sunderland.  Keane should save some Just for Men for his beard.

Liverpool 2 - Reading 1 Matejovski’s strike was nice.  Mascherano’s was spectacular, with a few tasteful “Fuck Offs” tacked onto it.  Apparently, Dirk Kuyt played in that match.

Arsenal stole the show in Tuesday Night’s Champions League action, shocking A.C. Milan 2-0 in an historic evening at the San Siro. The Gunners are the first English club to beat A.C. Milan at home in the Champions’ League.

The two squads fought a back and forth duel of flowing football, with Fabregas - with the help of poor goalkeeping from Kalac - finally breaking the deadlock with a speculative 30-yard effort. The second goal, however, was pure skill as Walcott sidled his way into the box and set-up a sublime through ball for Adebayor to seal the deal.

The difference between the two sides, seems to have been up front. Adebayor consistently threatened the Milan back four, but Milan could not claim the same success. Inzaghi and Gilardino were useless. Jesus could not give a barely fit Kaka that extra bit of oomph to get by his markers.

With Ancelotti on the hot seat, could “the Special One” be leaving his Setanta Sports gig?

Man United also beat French-club Lyon 1-0, 2-1 on aggregate to secure their place in the quarterfinals, with the decisive blow coming from Cristiano Ronaldo in the 41st minute. Though the performance was neither perfect nor pretty, it sufficed.

Barcelona beat Celtic 1-0 on a third minute strike Deco. The goal gave Barcelona a commanding 4-2 advantage over Celtic with three away goals, allowing them to control without extertion. For a club that often seems a corrupt circus off the pitch, the calm and collected performance was a reassuring sign, though a mitigated one with the loss of Messi to a “suspected torn thigh muscle.”

There was also an exciting match in Spain, though not exciting enough to warrant a mention by the British media, as Fenerbahce advanced to the quarterfinals for the first time in the club’s history on penalties after a 3-2 defeat at Sevilla.

Though the Turkish side lost the match, their 3-2 victory in the first leg made the aggregate score 5-5. With both clubs having two away goals, the decision came down to penalties. Where Fenerbahce keeper Volkan Demeril made three saves to send the club onward.