Odds and Sods

Barcelona have announced that manager Frank Rijkaard will not return as manager next season.

Rijkaard, 45, led Barca to consecutive Spanish titles in 2005 and 2006, as well as a Champions League victory in 2006.   He is also the only Barcelona manager to beat Real Madrid twice at the Santiago Bernabeu.  At his peak Barcelona were the best club in the world, though internal discord and a dearth of silverware scarred his last two seasons.

Barcelona will replace Rijkaard with former Barca star Josep Guardiola, who managed the B squad last season.

After the profound disappointment, a Rijkaard divorce made the most sense for Barca.  The club needs a clear-out.  Rijkaard’s relationships with the board and players are strained.  A fresh gaffer was needed to gut and construct anew.

Barca’s hiring of Guardiola, however, arouses curiosity.  Pep possesses only a single year of lower league managerial experience.  Barcelona grabbed a three year-old with a kickboard and tossed him into a tumultuous undertow.  Even if he is a precocious three year-old, it is not a safe bet.

The club needs a stern presence to nullify their nattering nancies.  One wonders if a rookie manager can handle such a task.

But, then again, he has worked in the Barcelona system all year.  They appointed him immediately.  Maybe the see something to which the rest of us aren’t privy.  At the very least, we hope he forgoes the tight pants during his tenure–the gratuitous Rijkaard crotch shots during matches were not pleasant.

Madrid’s clinch made this match meaningless, save the possible theatrics of a Catalan honor guard.  There was no need to sully the home whites with the title won.  Barcelona lacked motivation as well–their top four finish secure.  Only the scant possibility of a bittersweet second was at stake.  Pride the only prominent impetus, the matched promised lethargy.  Unfortunately for Barcelona, they were the only team that listened.

Real’s double had proved less than dominant.  Rife with poor form, shrouded in backstage machinations and stripped of the Galacticos’ skill and sex appeal, their titles sparked little respect and enthusiasm.  The lead became Barcelona’s failure rather than Madrid greatness.  For purposes historical not practical, Real Madrid needed to define the double.  This derby match provided that opportunity.

The talisman Raul called for this team to be kept together, and their inspired performance showed why.  They commanded for the full ninety over a sallow Barcelona side.  Eto’o, the cowardly lion conveniently carded in the previous match, missed due to suspension.  Ronaldinho sat out with his “injury.”  Often the greatest show in soccer, Los Culés came with only the requisite fifteen pieces of flair in their four to one defeat.

The goals summed Madrid magnificently.  They had the flash from Arjen Robben and the future from Gonzalo Higuain.  Both were bookended by experienced hands Raul and Ruud Van Nistelrooy.

Real Madrid entered a meaningless stage but their effort endowed it with masterful significance.  The headlines may focus on the collapse and reconstruction of Barcelona, but it was Los Blancos who ruled the day.

It was not a confident performance, but Paul Scholes’ 25 yard screamer made it a competent one as Manchester United beat Barcelona 1-0 to advance to the Champions’ League Final.

Barca held much of the possession, but made none of itmeaningful. Spectacular sprite Leo Messi outshined his best player rival Cristiano Ronaldo, but the rest of the team failed to feed off his energy–his through balls rolling harmlessly to the keeper.

Eric Abidal was completely outclassed. Yaya Toure looked like the opposite of his brother. Puyol and Milito lacked the composure that even a geriatric Thuram might have provided. Xavi, Deco, Iniesta and Eto’o were non-existent. Henry might as well have worn an Arsenal shirt, with the cohesion he displayed with his team.

United lacked the dynamism of a Rooney and the solidity of a Vidic, but they defended the center of the pitch ruthlessly and denied Barca a fatal equalizer. Their effort was gutsy, but hardly convincing. A physical squad with tactical coherence, like Chelsea or Liverpool, might have been more successful.

Man U may breathe a sigh of relief, but they will need to perform better if they are to complete their dual quest.

Ronaldinho in his thin days.

Two-time FIFA World Player of the Year Ronaldinho has agreed to initial terms with AC Milan, paving the way for a move from Spanish side Barcelona in the summer.

The 28 year-old has made just seventeen appearances for Barcelona in La Liga this season, scoring eight goals.  Controversy over his training regimen and his relationship with teammates has simmered.  He has also struggled with numerous injuries.

Milan could potentially have a coup.  Ronaldinho is still relatively young.  If their medical staff can keep crusty farts like Paolo Maldini moving, they can mollify any of his meandering issues.  The environment change and the reunification with his Brazilian compatriots may ignite his enthusiasm for athletic achievements on the pitch (rather than in the bedroom).  They could be getting the best player in the world, for a bargain price.

But, this will still be an excellent sale for Barcelona.  With Henry, Eto’o and Ronaldinho, Barca were getting maximum alpha ego but minimum production from their absurdly talented front line.  Shedding Ronaldinho is the first of many moves required to restructure the squad around the superkids Leo Messi and Bojan Krkic.

We here at Odds and Sods wish the Brazilian well, if only so he can continue to inspire racial stereotype-spiced on-air orgasms from Tommy Smyth when he gets a bulge in the old onion bag.