Odds and Sods

Want to enrage Arsene Wenger?  Try buying one of his young lads an ice cream.

According to the Guardian, the Arsenal manager will report Inter Milan to UEFA, after the club tapped up Alexander Hleb during the team’s trip to Milan.

Hleb reportedly left Arsenal’s hotel with an agent Claudio Vigorelli, who Wenger believes escorted the 26 year-0ld to Inter’s offices on Via Durini.

Vigorelli is affiliated with international super agent Vincenzo Morabito.  Morabito admitted that Vigorelli met with Hleb, but denied any meetings with Inter.  “They went for an ice-cream. We are sorry that Mr Wenger took it badly and complained because we have a good relationship with him,” Morabito told the Guardian.

Wenger signed Hleb from Hamburg in 2005 for 11.2m GBP.  He had been thought a disappointment until a triumphant turn-around this season – slowed down in the second half by injury.

He has previously been linked with both Inter and Barcelona.

Arsenal have a number of young mid-fielders.  If they can double their money, it may be a wise decision.

Eduardo Da Silva’s football career may be over after a horrific tackle from Martin Taylor less than three minutes into Arsenal’s 2-2 draw with Birmingham.

Too gruesome to be shown on television, Taylor flew studs up into Eduardo’s planted left leg at a right angle, severing both bones.  The Croatian was rushed to Selly Oak where he remains hospitalized - his season over and his career in doubt.

Arsene Wenger was furious after the match.

“This just goes along with the theory that to stop Arsenal, you have to kick them,” he said. “I knew it would happen one day. We’ve escaped one or two horrific tackles this season. I’ve seen some bad ones but they’re not always punished with broken legs. You only need to kill one person one time. You cannot accept that on a football pitch,” Wenger said.

The Arsenal manager called for Taylor to receive a lifetime ban.  “You always get the excuse that the guy is not that type of player,” Wenger said.  “But, if somebody kills once in his life you have a dead person.”

The FA have yet to rule on the incident, although Taylor will undoubtedly receive at least a 3 match ban for violent conduct.

Wenger’s call for a lifetime ban is extreme, but understandable in the heat of the moment.  Taylor did not mean to end Eduardo’s career, but his challenge was both reckless and senseless.  It wasn’t intended to injure, but it had the potential to do so.  If the FA wishes to send a serious message that this type of tackle is in appropriate, then a lengthy ban for Mr. Taylor is in order.

The bigger story, however, should be the loss of a footballing talent.  Eduardo was a gifted goal scorer just coming into his prime, for one of the biggest clubs in the world.  His loss, in such a manner, is simply shocking.  He may yet resurrect his career, but one doubts it will be the same.

The Juande Revolution continues at White Hart Lane, as Spurs have agreed to an 8m GBP fee for Middlesbrough and occasional England defender Jonathan Woodgate. Bringing in an oft-injured overpaid English player is certainly a strict departure from the previous administration. Though Kevin Keegan’s animal magnetism may lure him to St. James’ Park instead.

Fulham hope that the Kansas City Wizards can provide their Magic Johnson, with 23 year-old striker Eddie leaving in a 3m GBP move. Johnson will join many of his fellow Americans, who will be plying their trade in the Championship for Fulham next season.

Arsene Wenger won’t be letting aborted wonderkid Theo Walcott leave on loan, for fear that the Arsenal squad will be shorthanded. Stoke were rumored to be in the mix to obtain the starlet’s services.

The infamous Jean-Alain Boumsong has joined French Champions Lyon from Juventus Reserves. Some might say that it is impossible for Lyon to not capture their seventh Ligue Un title in a row. The odds have just increased.

The song that never ends has finally ended with Nicolas Anelka leaving Bolton for Stamford Bridge in a deal that could potentially be worth 15m GBP.  The Blues will hope that Le Sulk can fill in the Drogba role during the African Nations Cup and provide a potent partnership when he returns.  Anelka, joining his eighth club, has extensive experience in English football, so, unlike their last high-profile striker signing he won’t “be a girl” and get offended by John Terry slapping his bare-ass with a pair of shower sandals.

Crazy Jens Lehmann submarined his long-rumored deal to Borussia Dortmund, “for personal reasons.”  In other words, Dortmund wanted him to take a pay cut and he got assurances that he would still be the keeper for Germany in Euro 2008 regardless of his club position.  His experience, locker-room presence, maturity, and positive energy is exactly what the Gunners need going into a title run.  He is the pesky hemorrhoid that not even a healthy dose of Preparation Wenger can cure.

Speaking of Arsene, he will continue to stock his purely platonic harem of strapping young lads when he puts in a bid to sign 15 year-0ld Gillingham striker Luke Freeman.  Look for Chelsea to poach him immediately.

Martin Skrtel will be on his way to Liverpool in a 6.5 m GBP move from Zenit St. Petersburg.  The Reds were definitely in need of another defender, though one cannot help but feel that this smacks of another mediocre Benitez signing.  Barring disaster, the signing indicates that the Americans will give Benitez till the end of the season to turn things around.