Beckham’s Beard?
The beard has traditionally evoked the essence of masculinity. The bearded man was martial and virile. He flouted society’s norms. He was capable of all manner of mayhem. One did not laugh when he preserved a bit of ice cream for later.
Growing a beard was a proud, noble endeavor, until David Beckham.
Beckham’s beard is a barbatian abomination. It is in the midst of mid-life crisis. Is it a beard? Or, is it two epic sideburns slapped together with a stache and a soul patch? A hastily rectified chin-strap, perhaps?
Does Sir Becks suffer from non-connector syndrome? Or is the beard meticulously groomed that way?
And why the combination with the shaved head? A beard should be effortless effrontery. If you go through the effort to shave your head, what message does the beard intend? Was skinhead on the top effete English dandy on the bottom the intended look? And why ruin your surgically chiseled chin?
David Beckham’s beard is just plain irresponsible. As an icon of men’s fashion he should know better. This will spawn a plague of California yuppies rocking this look while sucking down caramel macchiatos in their BMW M3’s and picking up their $60 sun-dried cheese-less pizza on the way to the oxygen bar.
Could you imagine Clooney ever showing up with a look like this?
Not only did it look disgraceful but for the previous Galaxy game he was pretty much clean shaven. Yes, that means he grew that ugly thing in a week! How is that possible?
His football right now is as ugly as his face. He still serves in the occasional cross but gives the ball away as much as any other midfielder in MLS. He is lacking in the quality on the ball we had been told he had when the Galaxy bought him.
Landon Donovan can only carry the Galaxy for so long. Either Beckham steps up, Carlos Ruiz gets healthy or the Galaxy finish near or at the bottom of MLS for a third successive year.
This isn’t the California vacation you imagined, Golden Balls is it? The league is a much tougher than you imagined and every underpaid, under appreciated footballer in MLS has one target: YOU.