Odds and Sods

Arsenal Reserves drew Liverpool Reserves 1-1 in a Saturday thriller.  Rafa went with Jermaine Pennant and frisky Peter Crouch.  Arsene started two English lads.  Liverpool should have put the match away earlier.  Crouch had a brilliant effort saved.  Riise missed a sitter with his footballingly handicapped foot.  Benayoun missed another.  Even with United’s draw, the match killed Arsenal’s minute title hopes.  See you at Anfield for round three.

Middlesbrough retained the title of big club bully by holding Man United 2-2 at the Riverside.  Sir Alex sent out a stronger side than at midweek.  They got outplayed.  Alfonso Alves at last lived up to his transfer fee, scoring two.  Had they a competent partner rather than Aliadiere they would have had at least two or three more goals.  Ferdinand looked flummoxed without Vidic at his side.

Aston Villa blew out Bolton 4-0.  England cuspers Gareth Barry and Gabby Agbonlahor served up three with a cherry from Marlon Harewood.  Bolton’s defending was dreadful.  Davies and Diouf did not communicate.  The Wanderers look doomed.

Sunderland beat Fulham 3-1, in a relegation six-pointer.  The win puts Sunderland on 36 points, 10 points clear.  Fulham remain on twenty-four with fate fast approaching.  Brian McBride can count to infinity twice, but it won’t keep Fulham up.  All credit should go to Roy Keane for the wonders he’s done with the worst squad in the League besides Derby.

Was the loud smack from a fastball in the face really worth it?

Thanks to Awful Announcing

Red Sox Nation President Jerry Remy has released his “Five Point Plan” to “serve” Red Sox Nation during the 2008 season.

1. Appointment of Governors

The Red Sox will appoint governors for every U.S. state as well as foreign territories where there are Sox fans.  This is just what Red Sox fans needed, more meaningless self-important titles.  

The governors will be “appointed” not “elected,” preventing someone like Bill Simmons from getting a forum.

These vital officers will organize viewing parties in their state, at their own effort and expense and send feedback to Remy at their own discretion.  

Awesome!  

2. Two-year Census

Red Sox Nation will perform what they are terming a “two-year census” to allow fans to send ideas to Remy.  All ideas “will be considered” and “the best” will be presented to Red Sox Management.  

How this is a “census,” an official count or survey of a population, is unclear.

3. Kid Nation Captains: presented by Hood

Red Sox Nation will appoint “Kid Nation Captains” who will represent “Red Sox Kid Nation.”  These kids will be “entrusted” to “develop” and to “implement” a community service program, funded by Hood.  

Developing a connection with kids should be “of utmost importance” to the Red Sox, since none of them can afford to go to a game.

4. New Red Sox Nation Program Benefits

Yes, pay them to become a card-carrying member of Red Sox Nation, and you could be eligible for sweet prizes, like spending a day with the World Series trophy.  Awesome!

5. Community Program/ Ticket Give

Jerry Remy will provide “some tickets” to “deserving individuals” who would “not ordinarily have the means to purchase” tickets.  Presumably, these will be those with compelling stories for NESN rather than the bottom 99% of the tax bracket who can’t afford tickets.

Ok, so we have the “fan’s representative” Jerry Remy, a Red Sox employee, presenting his “Five Point Plan” for the fans that costs the Red Sox no money and extorts more money from fans who already cannot afford to go to a game.  This plan is then reported uncritically by the Boston Globe, which is owned by the New York Times Co., also a part owner of the Red Sox.

I’m starting to think Hammerin’ Hank has a point.

Jake Peavy pitched brilliantly in his first two starts this season, allowing just one run and five hits in sixteen innings.  Judging by the brown stains on his right hand, he may have had some Kenny Rogers-style assistance.  Either that, or he didn’t wash his hands.

Surely, Bud Selig will send his crack team of investigators to look into this one.