Tigers Sign Cabrera to 8-year $153.3 Million Deal

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Mike Ilitch broke away from his diligent inquiry as to why Little Caesars pizza inside Comerica Park costs $14 and is neither “hot” nor “ready” to sign Miguel Cabrera to an 8-year $153.3 million contract extension.

It is a big fat check, for a potentially big fat man.

Cabrera may have dropped 20-30 lbs before the season – he must have the same nutritionist as Pudge – but he has yet to discover the wonders that behold him in Detroit’s finest Coney Islands.

That said, they have still signed a fabulous player, essentially a 24-year old Manny Ramirez, fielding deficiencies included.

You can count Cabrera in for a non-roid aided .320, 30+HR, 120 RBI, and .950 OPS for the duration of the contract.  His name has not graced the disabled list in 4+ seasons.  How can this be bad?

Tigers fans should display caution, however, before believing this is contending coin spent.  Ilitch locked up a randy Leviathan for the better part of the decade, but they still lack dependable non-Verlander starters and even a semblance of a bullpen.

But, this was a masterful business move perfectly executed, before Cabrera stepped off the plane into garishly gray Detroit.

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One Comment on “Tigers Sign Cabrera to 8-year $153.3 Million Deal”

  1. Elliot Says:

    Once again double D proves to be the best GM in the league. Signing a 24 year old kid to a monster deal before he sees the Detroit skyline is genius. Don’t let him know what’s outside and just let him keep thinking about that paycheck.

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