Odds and Sods

Jesus may be with Kaka, but his representatives on earth have a more pressing task, the Clericus Cup.

The Clericus Cup, started in 2007, is an international football tournament for Catholic clergy held at Vatican City.

The tournament comprises sixteen teams, composed of catholic clergy and seminarians.  One of the teams is made up of the Swiss guards, the Pope’s secret service equivalent.

A rambunctous atmosphere has entangled the tournament from the beginning, with organizers forced to ban megaphones, drums, tambourines and boomboxes in response to complaints about the noise.

The raucousness, according to Reuters, has not limited itself to the stands either as a priest received a red card for throwing his shirt at a referee.

(Insert joke about pent up masculine essence here)

Wigan 0 - Arsenal 0

Why play a 39th match abroad, when you can come to the Wigan and play on the surface of the moon.  The pitch aside, it was a dismal Arsenal effort.  Bendtner bumbled around negating Adebayor, who disappeared during the dreary second half.  The sails flutter and the ship is taking on water.  They are unbeaten, but broken.

Tottenham 4 - West Ham 0

Big Match Berbatov comes through in the clutch again, as Tottenham creeps closer in the riotous race for tenth.  Spurs have supplanted Liverpool as the league’s Jeckyll and Hyde outfit.  Another Darren Bent sighting as well.

Liverpool 3 - Newcastle 0

As usual for Liverpool, it was Torres, Gerrard and a tad bit of luck.  They have hit form in time to take firm hold of fourth.  Someone should ring up the Soccer Circus to alert them that Obafemi Martins is good.

Reading 2 - Manchester City 0

Coppell’s squad cobbelled together a huge victory to lift them from the relegation zone.  City are fading, but from injuries rather than a premature Sventasm.  Stephen Hunt must lead the “innocuous collision” table.

Barnsley 1 - Chelsea 0 When Barnsley last reached, Titannic afloat.

Manchester United 0 - Portsmouth 1 When in doubt blame the referee.

Middlesbrough 0 - Cardiff 2 How is Mido a professional athlete?

Bristol Rovers 1 - West Brom 5 Witty headline reads “Call Me Ishmael.”

According to the English media, no one wants to watch the big teams play in the FA Cup Final. No one wants to watch two small teams. No one wants to watch a big team play a small team.