Odds and Sods

1. Another 24-7 NFL network already exists, ESPN. America does not need more NFL coverage on television. On a given day during football season, ESPN devotes nearly the entirety of Sportscenter to the NFL. They have NFL specific programs such as NFL Live throughout the day. Their general sports programming such as PTI and Mike and Mike in the Morning slants heavily toward the NFL. ESPNews televises press conferences live. It has reached its saturation point.

2. I can already see all of the games. For MLB, the NHL or the NBA a network is a wonderful innovation. If there is a baseball game of national interest, an MLB network could broadcast it nationally and provide an alternative to the local markett (Fans in Pittsburgh would be forever grateful).

For the NFL, the games are on National Television at a specific time. The prominent games are nearly always thrust onto Sunday and Monday Night. The NFL blacks out games that would compete against the home team, so they aren’t going to run a competing game on the NFL network. The only games that appear on the network are placed their intentionally to drum up otherwise non-existent interest for the NFL network and inject even more bulbous fat into the backside of the League’s cash cow.

The viewer gains nothing he or she did not already have by the presence of the network.

3. There is no compelling viewing. What marquee event is the NFL network using to arouse interest for itself, the Draft. First of all, the Draft is simultaneously the most hyped and most meaningless draft in Major Sports. The best quarterback in the NFL was a 6th round pick. There are #1 overall quarterbacks who are out of the league now. It is utterly meaningless drivel with no purpose besides providing a forum for Mel Kiper Jr. to masturbate over large black mens’ “upside potential” and “freakish athleticism.”

Second, the Draft is not until MID-APRIL. That is four months from now. What exactly is going to fill four months of programming? Live coverage from Pro Bowl practice? The QB challenge? How many reruns of “NFL Cheerleaders” can you show?

4. Bryant Gumbel is the worst play by play man ever. I have a lot of respect for Bryant Gumbel. His TV show and interviewing skills are excellent. Keep him where his talents are most useful, the studio.

He is terrible doing play-by-play commentary. A play-by-play man should describe what occurs on the field succinctly, set up the color commentator to explain things in detail, and perhaps (only if said announcer is funny) crack an occasional joke if its a boring game.

Gumbel keeps a running monologue throughout the entire game, not interrupting his sentence even if a play is occurring. He needlessly hammers home every minute detail which should be patently obvious to anyone even casually watching the game. The lack of chemistry with Chris Collinsworth was astounding, as Collinsworth struggled to create and interject his own points.

He also speaks in such a dreary monotone that I nearly fell asleep watching my favorite team go 16-0. I kept expecting/hoping for professional wrestling style fireworks with Chris Collinsworth exclaiming “That’s Gus Johnson’s music!” and having Johnson bash Gumbel on the head with a metal chair, steal his microphone and call the rest of the game.

The NFL network is a fundamental miscalculation. The league appeals to the populace not because it is brilliant or exciting, but because it is easily accessible. You know what time it is going to be on, and you know what channel.

The NFL has fooled the American populace into thinking that sitting through a four hour commercial extravaganza to watch 11 minutes of actual action is a worthwhile experience. Because of this, it has evolved into a multi-billion dollar industry. If the league continues to screw around, make people buy an extra cable package, and hunt around to find the network, they risk upsetting the delicate balance that keeps the league afloat.

Bottom Line: You’ve got a gravy train. Don’t fuck with it!